I know that my blogs have been less and less frequent, but I have been more and more busy. I would like to start getting back into the habit of doing them, there are just things I need to get in order first.

This past week has been a whirlwind of activity. Most of it centered around an ongoing crisis, the details of which I will not discuss right now because I still do not have them myself. It has occupied most of my time and thoughts, as well as Derrick’s for the past week or so. I hope everything will work out.

However, there were also job applications which are still being put in. There is one job in particular at the DMV that I really really want, and hope that I get. I am trying not to want this job so badly, mostly so I will not disappointed if I do not get it. I do have a backup plan as usual.

So it seemed that a change scenery and mindset were in order, and that is exactly what occurred. This weekend was Dover Days, a once year festival I have never gotten to enjoy because I was always working at it. This year I did not have to work the festival, so Derrick and I went.

It did provide a much-needed distraction from all current worries and woes, but it was also a fantastic time. Now I know why so many turn out to this event, because it is fun, and the bulk of it is free. We started seeing the events on Friday, and did not stop until late Saturday afternoon. Even then we only stopped because we were so tired, but it was a good kind of tired, the kind where too much fun was had, instead of the kind where too much worrying goes on.  Also I had/have a terrible sunburn.

I brought the camera, but there was way too much going on to take photos. I also feel as though some of life’s events are require experiencing rather than documenting. We ran into a lot of old friends, which was nice. One in particular will be attending the same school as I will in the fall and made me feel much better when she told me about their education program. It is such a relief to get an apolitical opinion about a school, and to know that I will have friends when I get there. I am still in the application process which takes time, but this is time well spent, also I am less starry-eyed and more pragmatic.  A sentence which I never thought I would write, since I am rarely starry-eyed, and incredibly pragmatic.

However, I am deviating from the point, which is sometimes it is just so nice to just go out and have fun. Not because I  want to ignore whatever is going on in my life, but because I lack the need to have it consume every minute of my life. It was nice to let my hair down, and have fun, to relieve some of the accumulated stress. It is a behavior I encourage, and will be participating in more often… Hopefully.

I know it has been a long time since my last blog, but there has been a pressing issue weighing on my mind. I knew I could not post a blog here about something else and act like everything was okay.  Now before I go any further I should say that I am fine , and everything is okay, just a little disappointing.

Everyone knows I have been working incredibly hard to return to school in the fall. Everyone knows because I was so excited I told anyone who would listen, family, neighbors, friends, strangers at the post office. I was proud of the hard work I had done, plus I had gotten into what I thought was a good school, with a good education program. Not only that but between scholarships, and financial aid I would owe them no money.

I think at first I was just to happy to notice any trouble. I had applied to this school, because it was a small liberal arts college similar to my first, and I thought it would be the easiest transition. That is until I found out that their accreditation for their education department had been revoked. The school has been put on probation, and basically the certification people are receiving to teach means little to nothing.  It is essentially like buying a car with no engine, or going to a hospital knowing it has no doctors.

Now although I had scholarships, and financial aid this education was not free, part of it was government loans, which I would have to pay back, and have an incredibly short window of which to back out of. I knew once I signed the final paperwork there were no take backs, no more second thoughts, that was it, the school I would be at for two years, and receive my diploma from.

So before I took out these loans, and paid a hefty deposit to secure my spot I had a lot of questions, and as soon as the initial excitement of being accepted passed I asked them.  I asked what steps were being taken to gain this accreditation back… no answer, so I asked someone in a higher position who three weeks later gave me an incredibly political and ambiguous answer which of course did not actually answer my question. Any and all questions I asked were treated this way. Apparently when asked if I any questions it was merely a formality, and not actual interest. I do not feel as though it was unreasonable to want an answer to that question. I felt duped, and I felt stupid for getting duped.

There was also an issue with the deposit, in December I was told that I had until May 1st to pay a hefty deposit which would hold my spot, cover orientation fee, and hold a room for me, and to take my time with it there was no hurry. I do not need a room, I should not have to pay to have one held for me, but the rest was understandable. All of sudden in late January  I started receiving calls, when can we expect your deposit, when can we expect your deposit, how will you be paying it? These phone calls caused me a lot of anxiety and put me under a lot of pressure. I really felt like I was being harassed by a collection company.

It got so bad that about  two weeks ago I was starting to think twice about whether or not teaching was what I wanted to do with my life and whether I should go back to school at all. Thankfully, about two days into my life crisis I realized of course teaching is want I want to do, and I would not do anything to put that in jeopardy. I realized if I was having this many problems with this institution before I gave them my money, what would I be getting into after they had it. Yes, I could go to this school and hope they have gotten their probationary status revoked, or I can go to a school where my degree will mean something. Going to this school was a big gamble and could have put what I want my career to be in jeopardy

So that is what I am going to do. I am waiting for information from Wilmington University about their education department, but after doing a little research of my own, found out it was just commended by our governor for its excellence. It has a campus nearby, and extremely flexible class schedules, so I can work them around whatever job I get. It is another load of work, and I may have to wait until their second fall session in October to start, depending on how quickly I can get everything lined up. I know that despite this setback I am going back to school, no matter what. I can’t help but think though about all the parents sending their children to this school to become teachers, I truly hope it works out better for them, than it did for me.

Right now is 5:00 in the morning. I have actually have been up most of the night, unable to sleep for more than an hour at a time. It was like this last night too, but last night I thought it was just nerves. Now I know it is a bad case of the flu. Which really sucks because I thought for sure since cold and flu season was winding down I was in the clear…so much for that. I am sitting here looking at twenty sub jobs, knowing I will not be taking any of them. I will be in bed.

Substitute teachers have no immune system. They are in a different place everyday with different people, and different germs. If you are sick and come near me I will get it, and when I do it will actually be worse than when you had it, for reasons I cannot explain, and all the hand-washing, vitamin taking, and fruit-eating in the world will not change it.

To be fair I did not get sick from subbing, which surprised me. I had several interviews for a job at Macy’s, and spent a lot of time at a mall. Malls are full of people with germs, apparently some of which liked me enough to stick around.

Anyway the job seemed promising. It was a part-time position with flexible hours, for one of the largest, and oldest companies in the world, let alone the U.S. It was just too bad that when they said flexible hours they meant on my part, not theirs.

For my first interview, I waited forty-five minutes to be seen, and was then interviewed for ten. I left with lots of store gossip that I could not help but overhear, but had no idea how the interview went. I guess it went well, because I was called in for another.

My second interview, was not actually a job interview, but a job offer. The only problem was it is an on-call position, so basically I would be doing the exact same thing I am doing now, but for a different company. I would be there when they needed an extra hand, or when someone was sick. I knew that was not the job for me.

Honestly if I was not going back to school, I probably would have taken it, I know that it could have led to a permanent position, but right now I need consistency. I either need a set work schedule I can set my classes around, or a set class times that I can schedule work around.

I have to admit I was really upset to need a job, and be offered a job, and subsequently have to turn it down. I did not know what to make of it. I know I did the right thing, but I am really bothered by it. I know if nothing else I can get a job for the summer, and then get a job at school, but it is till disappointing. I think just because I was so close to my goal.

Well one thing is for sure those follow-up calls I was going to make today for applications I had put in are going to have to wait until I am better. I am not good at waiting for things, I am not good at being patient, and I am really not good at being sick. However, it seems like right now I do not have much of a choice.

“Give to every human being every right that you claim for yourself” ~ Robert Green Ingersoll

 

This is a calendar I bought for 75 cents. The image above is its theme for April. I am hopeful, and instead of my usual Monday quote I did this instead. I just have to keep reminding myself to be hopeful, and that everything will work out.

It seems like lately I have been so busy running around doing ten thousand different things I have not really had time for blog. I am trying to get everything ready for my much-anticipated return to school. I am trying to find a job before the summer comes as well. It just feels like the time I spend on here could be time spent job hunting. By the time I am done with paperwork, and e-mails, and applications, I often just do not feel like posting a blog.

Also, I feel as though my blog has deviated from its original purpose, to detail my exploits as a substitute teacher. I am okay with this, but I need to re-evaluate where I am going with this, what the purpose is.

What I am trying to say is that over the next few weeks, you will probably notice some changes, some of which have already begun. My blog already looks different than it did at its origin a few months ago. So for a little while you may notice not as frequent posts, not as many updates. You may notice a different direction taking shape. I cannot say what that direction will be, because I myself do not yet know.

This is merely an intermissions while other things take priority, it is by no means an ending.

“I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world” ~ Thomas Edison

So I do not think I have any friends in overall, but I do have some very good friends, and family that I would not trade for anything.

I figured it was about time to change the way my blog looks. I loved the way it looked before, it was dark, but comfy and suited me well. Now the weather is brighter…well not today, but it is gradually becoming that way, and I wanted my blog’s appearance to show that as well. This was my first shot at creating my own header, it  is a photo of some daffodils I clipped that were growing in the alley near where I live.

Now spring, my favorite of all seasons is here. I love that everything gets a fresh start. I love to watch the flowers bloom. I always thought that if for some reason I was unable to be a teacher I would want to work in a flower shop. I get excited to see the birds return and the baby animals emerge.

I am know that for myself there will be changes this season as well. I will be that much closer to starting at a new school, substituting will end with the school year, and hopefully a new job will begin. I look forward to these changes like I forward to spring.

“Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking” ~ Black Elk

Today I have been married for one year. In that time I have changed a lot, and have been through a lot as well. I think this is natural in relationships, and think I am a better person than I was a year ago.

I am so glad to have found my husband, and could not be happier.

I have learned a lot about myself in the past year as well as about my husband.

I have learned things like:

• I hog the covers excessively.
• I wiggle constantly
• He snores louder than I ever imagined possible.
• He will always have to pee in the middle of the night.
• Not everyone has ice-cold feet and hands like me.
• I like to go to bed early and get up early.
• He likes to stay up and sleep late.
• We both do not like to share certain things.
• He does not like to share food, and I do.
• He likes scary movies, and I do not.
• I am grumpy if woken during a nap (similar to how I imagine a bear would be if woken during a nap).
• He does not think directions are important, and I read them before I assemble anything.
• I like to be in charge (I am a teacher, I am used to being the boss)

I have also learned:

• We both love super hero movies.
• We both love sitcoms, the funnier the better.
• I like video games sometimes
• We both love Chinese food, and Mexican food, and every other kind of food.
• We both like to take naps.
• We both want new carpet, but are afraid of what is underneath the one we have. (It has not been replaced in 10 plus years)
• We both hate squirrels, and people who do not use their turn signals (for different reasons)
• He cannot ride a bike, I cannot cook bacon for the life of me.
• We both love to go out to eat.
• How to compromise, and how to give and take.

I am grateful for this experience and I am excited to see what the future has in store for the both of us.